Fred is drinking in a bar. He looks quite miserable, so the barman asks what’s the matter.
“My wife is seeing someone else. I have decided to do her in!” he says.
The barman says “You’d better see Artie – that chap over there in the corner.”
Fred sees a giant of a man drinking on his own in the corner of the bar. He goes over and explains his problem.
“Yerr, I’ll kill your wife – but it’ll cost you a thousand pounds!” says Artie. Fred searches his pockets, but only finds one pound coin.”This is all I have. I’ll pay you the rest after you have done the deed!” says Fred, and to his surprise Artie agrees.
Next day Artie follows Fred’s wife into the supermarket. When he decides there’s no-one around, he strangles her to death. But as he looks up he sees a shop assistant filling the shelves – so he has to strangle her too! Just as he finishes, the store manager comes round the corner – so Artie strangles him too!
By this time people rush over to him from all directions, and he is tied up and taken to the police.
Next day, the headlines in the newspapers read:
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